Last week while going about my usual morning routine, working out while listening to the New York Times on my iPod, I heard something that almost made me fall off the treadmill.
It was the article about the new trend in credit scores dominating the dating scene. A woman recounted her first date with a man who was her match in every way (his words) whom abruptly asked her what her credit score was, then informed her that a bad credit score was a definite "dealbreaker" for him before opting out of a second date... via text message.
I understand the importance of knowing a partner's fiscal health. My husband, who works in finance, has never asked me for my credit score. However, over the years we've seen copies of each other's credit reports and discuss our finances openly and often, but when I told him about the article he found the idea, that someone would quickly dismiss a person whom could be the love of their life simply because of their credit score, completely ridiculous.
Oh my, I love him so.
Yes, a credit score can be an indicator of one's financial irresponsibility, but that's not the only factor that would cause a dip in credit ratings:
A person could be saddled with astronomical medical bills cause by an illness or accident. Individuals with previously stellar credit histories have been known to lose everything including their homes to our healthcare system. The American Journal of Medicine published a study that found in 2007 62% of bankruptcies were due to medical debt. Of the medical debtors profiled in the study the majority were middle class, college educated and even possessed medical insurance! (source)
A person could have worked studied hard while procuring loans for eight long years only to discover that there are no jobs in their field. The average four year degree can cost anywhere from $ 80k -$ 100k (source). When I was in my early 20s I used to bartend with a lawyer, whom while gainfully employed at a big New York law firm needed a second job to make ends meet. This was before the recession.
And speaking of the recession, most of us are one lay off, market dip or accident with an uninsured driver away from our own credit crisis. In 2007 a 650 was a great credit score. A score of 550 could get you a 4 bedroom house and we all see how that turned out.
Am I suggesting that you marry someone who is financially irresponsible and has the potential to drag you down into a pecuniary pit of despair. Of course not. But give yourself a chance to find who a person really is before you judge them based on a 3 digit score generated by algorithm. If someone is a truly irresponsible person a credit score isn't the only way to find out. Isn't that what dating is about?
What's next? Will we stop prospective mates on the street and say,"You look clean and you have nice teeth. What is your credit score? Do you have herpes? How big is your penis? How much money do make? Do you live with your mother? Great! See you at the chapel at 3!"
My friend Jackie, personal trainer and blogger made this point, "Many of my clients are wealthy women by marriage. And for several of them when they met their husbands he was broke or even bankrupt and they saw the potential in him so they married him anyway. Fast forward 30 years and they're living in the lap of luxury on Madison Avenue. You never know how life is going to turn out and I feel bad for the people in this article who are judging or being judged by such a stupid barometer."
And on that note I'll end this post with a few of my favorite economically challenged love stories:
“You see, even though back then Barack was a senator and a presidential candidate, to me, he was still the guy who’d picked me up for our dates in a car that was so rusted out, I could actually see the pavement going by through a hole in the passenger side door. He was the guy whose proudest possession was a coffee table he’d found in a dumpster, and whose only pair of decent shoes was half a size too small.” - Michelle Obama (source)
"At their 1971 wedding, King walked down the aisle in a borrowed suit, tie and shoes. Their first years together were tough. "He married me for my typewriter," joshes Tabby. Steve didn't own one at the time, and she further subsidized his art by working at a Dunkin' Donuts. Steve taught English in a private school and wrote in his spare time. Before his first book, Carrie, was published in 1974, King had three manuscripts rejected. Carrie almost didn't make it either. At one point he tossed it into a wastebasket. Fortunately, Tabby fished it out." - Mark Donovan, People Magazine (source)
When Joan Clayton Boocock met a poor young writer and artist in 1945 she was so enamored with him that within 6 weeks she had divorced her husband and married him. She supported him as he worked tirelessly creating books for a genre not widely accepted or even considered a respectable line of work at the time. One day, her husband came home frustrated almost ready to quit, and she told him, "No. Do it your way, sweetheart. Do it exactly your way. Sink or swim. " He took her advice and went on to create one of the world's most beloved fictional characters. Joan is married to Stan Lee, creator of Spider Man, The Fantastic Four, X-Men, The Avengers & countless others. (source)
So what's your opinion? Are credit scores a credible dating yardstick?
That's all for now.
Thanks for tuning in.
Until next time...
Keep Adding Bliss!
Michelle
