I tend to be very optimistic when it comes to my ADHD. I find ways to navigate the odd and sometimes frustrating events in my life with humor, sarcasm and well… optimism.
But this time I couldn’t find anything even remotely funny about what happened to me, ok let’s be real, what I did this time.
It started (or ended) while my fiancé and I were on our way to Home Depot: to contemplate why someone would steal a garbage can while trying to find one that will be harder to swipe & Ikea: Wednesday is Rib Night and we needed a new bookcase. I was digging through my purse for a list of some other things I was hoping to sneak into the cart at Ikea when caught a glimpse of my naked fingers… my engagement rings were gone.
It that same instant the memories came flooding back. The day before we went to the movies, I went to the bathroom, took my rings off to wash my hands, dried my hands, put on my jacket, grabbed my purse, left the bathroom… I could feel the color drain from my face, which is some feat because there’s plenty. I turned to my fiancé, who already knew something was very wrong, and confessed. The following moments were a blur. I remembering going to the movie theater, which I knew was fruitless: “Hi, did anyone by any chance turn in $ 5000 worth of precious jewelry yesterday?” “No, ok. Well we’ll leave our number in case they do.” then going home to search through everything we both wore the day before even though I knew the awful truth, and a lot of crying…and apologizing.
You see the worst part of this whole situation is not a feeling of loss for the rings, typical ADHDers don’t hold a lot personal attachment to items. We hate to throw stuff away and make every excuse to keep things we don’t need but once they’re gone we’re fine. I loved the rings. They were beautiful but they were rings. When I didn’t wear them I still felt engaged. My wedding planner never called from Barbados and said,” I sensed you weren’t wearing your ring. You know this deposit isn’t refundable, right?”
What I felt is the feelings that we can most identify with.
- I screwed up big time…again
- I let some very important people down…again
- I just flushed a lot of money down the toilet…again
- When every one finds out they’re going to give me the “I knew that was gonna happen” look…again
- How will I ever get him to trust me…again
- How could I have been so stupid…again
- What the (insert your own expletive) is wrong with me?
In my case I’m fortunate because I’m marrying a man whose first reaction was to comfort me, tell me how much he loved me and that we would get through it together. Unfortunately, that wasn’t always the case. It’s been a week and I still haven’t told anyone else (so zip it, you guys). I’m still not ready to face the embarrassment, scrape up some self deprecating humor and navigate the annoying questions: “Why did you take them off in the first place?” “Why wasn’t the ring insured? He knew who he was marrying.”(that’s my mom) and “How could you not even notice until the next day?”
It will happen someday and when it does I’ll be ready. For now I’ll reflect on the lessons of the situation:
- If you have to remove your rings to wash your hands, put them directly into your pocket or purse. At least if you forget to put them back on, you still have them.
- Get your precious jewelry insured. It’s surprisingly easy to add it your renter’s or homeowner’s insurance. Guess who’s still kicking themselves?
- Maybe save the good baubles for special occasions. In hindsight, an afternoon screening of Paranormal Activity 2, (which was good; by the way) doesn’t quite cut it.
- I learned that I am really marrying the most amazing man in the world. I had my suspicions before but now I’m 100% sure.
If there is anyone out there who knows how I’m feeling right now please comment or email with your own stories. I’m off to net surf for some CZs. And don't worry, no matter how much I beg, scream and cry my family never reads my blog. :o)
Thanks for tuning in! Until next time...
Keep ADDing Bliss!
Michelle
