I am a mother of four....ages 9, 7, 5 and 2. I think.....well actually....I am pretty confident I have ADHD. I have struggled as long as I can remember with the lack of focus to just function everyday in a productive way. I can't stand clutter to the point that my home doesn't looked lived in. Which is hard to accomplish with four kids....it takes purging the house several times a month to keep me from feeling like i am going to be suffocated. I also homeschool my children....which is so hard on me and them. I feel like i can't stay committed or on track. My mind is everywhere. It is like it never STOPS. I have a wonderful husband that is so supportive and does all he can to help even though he is going to school fulltime to become an RN. Please any advice you can give me would be so appreciated. I know this is affecting everyone I love in my life. I just want to be able to stop and focus and be what my family needs me to be.
Ponca City, OK
Thank you so much for reading Adding Bliss & taking time to write your message.
It sounds like you probably have ADHD, but your situation would overwhelm anyone! Four young children; all homeschooled and husband who's in school full time! You're already my hero!
My first suggestion would be to seek a specialist & get a firm diagnosis. It sounds like you may have ADHD with a touch of OCD, which is common. Speaking to professional can either confirm or refute this, but either way it will put you on track for solutions that will work for you, whether it be medication, counseling or other treatments.
It's also great that you have a husband that's really supportive. Even if he can't give as much help as you'd like physically, emotional support can really carry you through tough times. Be sure to communicate, communicate, communicate; love, love, love & and finding the humor in crazy situations help a lot.
The final two pieces of advice I'd like to give you today is:
1. Simplify your life as much as possible: pare down as much as possible & develop systems for managing your household. Toys & clothes are major culprits. They're fun to buy and hard to give away. Make a house rule that everytime you bring something in, something needs to go. There are also a lot of chores you can delegate to your kids. Turn them into a game & give prizes. Great chores for kids are: washing dishes, sorting laundry or making beds.
2. DO NOT be afraid to ask for help! As a person with ADHD I can fully understand your frustration and your need to prove that you are just as capable of handling every task thrown your way & as women we feel the need to carry the weight of world on our shoulders and feel guilty when we have to delegate responsibility or admit we're overwhelmed. I'm here to tell you: Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength. Martha Stewart doesn't bake every pie. Oprah doesn't write and film every show. Every successful person has help and knows when to delegate tasks.
Another great resource for help with ADHD is Dr. Stephanie Sarkis. She can give you more in depth and clinical information about ADHD and she has an amazing book called 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD: How to Overcome Chronic Distraction & Accomplish Your Goals. Dr. Sarkis also answers questions about ADHD for readers on this site. Click here to send her a question.
The advice offered is intended for informational purposes only. This advice is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. Click here for more info.
That's all for now.
Thanks for tuning in.
Until Next Time...
Keep Adding Bliss!